Seeing my older brother has only few stuff with him just kinda make my heart tearing more and more.
He only has stuff which is i probably call it on a few step down than mine.
I always have better phone, better bike, even better grade than him.
And yet, i am still seeing someone who got their seat higher than mine and i do kinda run or not doing thankful to God.
If i see my brother that looks a bit lower than me in any stuff he got.
Few days ago. I bought a new phone for him, not to be arrogant. My mother has told me to not be more than $20 for the price,
But when i saw him wanna buy the chinnese phone models that everyone knows its just not kind of a better phone, im crying again, inside my heart.
I dont wanna him buy those chinnes phones.
So i decided to pull over my moneys more than my mom has told for him and my brother could get a really better phone.
And finally i saw him smiled brighter than before, thanks Allah.
You gave him happines.
Dont take that happines. Please make more kind of happines to him.
I want him to be a great men as my older brother be like a success men and be my model that i would really love to follow him.
To my brother. I really love you.
Be success very soon!!!
And i’ll see you with a nice red shiny Ferrari and im on my R6 with my girlfriend sit on the back.
Amin ya Allah
Looking at the friends who now being in a college. Im kinda jealous, i dont know why it seems hard to me to be like them all.
They have many friends, they can get great friends, be a great friend for anothers.
This heart is feeling scratch, this heart could not hold this sick anymore.
I dont wanna complain but, the feeling and thinking u got too MUCH IN is like a stupid ass who fell in a same hole.
I know im just keep talking, i know im a loser. But you who probably reading this are a person who got friend you could tell ur problems with or be sharing with.
I am not. I am not that kind of person.
People be seems to ignore me, even the people i already knew.
It maybe just my feeling but im feeling it that way.
That way when u wanna try to connect with the other, the other has gave the feedbacks, but not the feedback u always hope.
U keep talking to them, but why did it always take you to bother them first.
Why always you have to talk with them first???
Why do they never ask something about you first, or give u questions, or stick with you first???
Yes, thats all been happened to me for YEARS.. No big deal, i was already a loser for the first time.
They would not care about me for the first time either.
Im not someone, im even not something, i dont know why God created me to be in this way.
But still, no matter what, i have to be thankful.
When i have worked for a year.
My mother gave me a present to buy a new motorbike.
When i was planning to buy and choose what kind of a motorbike i should buy?? I selected them (all the models from many of company)
And i have 3 different models.
1 is the New Megapro by Honda.
2 is the Byson by Yamaha.
3 is the Vixion by Yamaha.
It actually was another model that was Tiger by honda, and its quite close to 250cc its a 200cc.
But it should cost me around $2500.
I couldnt buy that, i couldnt because i had another stuff to do with the rest of money i had in that time.
So finally i decided to buy New Megapro.
In that time, i didnt think much about the design, the engine compartment and performance, and service that i gotta spend every month because i hadnt known anything yet about a motorbike.
But now, after i read, i learned, i searched many of influences by another motorbike rider. Now i know but not too many, just a few part of the motorbike that i should know because i am a rider.
My bike is an overstroke type of engine.
It is usually used in a long trip rather than speeding or track days.
Altho its a 150cc its quite great for me becoz i just knew about motorbike’s stuff.
I bought my bike new in 2012, September until now it almost 6 months i’ve been owning the bike.
It was only 3 months atfer i bought the bike some companies had released some new models and refresh upgrade for the previously models.
In mind, i was shocked!!! I hadnt known anything about the news they would do that.
If only i already knew that. I probably would had to waited for the next 3 months to get a better bike.
But what could i do??
I already bought my bike.
I couldnt do anything.
But Just keep regreting and regreting over 4 months and maybe untill now.
I also has a plan to ask my mother to change my bike, but it seems now its not the right time for the next 2 months. Because we have a lot of things going on.
I just can accept it.
Accept the good things and the bad things about my bike.
So,, yeah now. I may to accept it as it.
Its ok… its ok…
I have another greater plan..
That is upgrading to a bigger displacement in probably in the next 2 years??
Hope i’ll get it.
Its hurt tho… but its ok..
And this is a sample picture for the motorbike i bought.
What do you guys think about it??
I dont know..
I dont know what could say.
HONDA CB 1300 super four.
You know who i am, where i am in a side
The waterfall photo this was taken when i was 2 grade highschool.
Randomness. I like randomness.
Hope you enjoy it
I a…. i was hibernate from twitter and this blog also. I had a little too much of dislike and unwanted feeling that was pushing me to do that.
It was hard to getting friends. I dont know why, i think i havent learned anything from my past yet.
I think when u just started to get ur life be in a great schedule again thats when u have a lot of spirits that may leads you to get a life better of even better future.
I have done that. But the reality is so much sick of me.
I tried hard to get my self better, i tried really hard to know what kind of false in me.
And i just dont know yet, rather than find it yet.
WHY DOES THIS SO MUCH HARD FOR ME TO GET FRIENDS???
I think of my personalities. Theyre ok enough.
I think of my life. Theyre sick enough.
Apart of being lonely, i found nothing from my self but TALK TO MY OWN SELF.
This first post ever is just about another life’s complain i do.
Yes i do this.
Who else does think of me i am an idiot???
Sometimes i went up in the middle of a night and asked some questions to me (my self) or my own self or whatever u may call it.
Me: i do love people. But why dont they just give me the goodies feedbacks??!?!?!? Do i have to give them some bad ones?!?!?
My self: stop dreaming shit yo dumbass. They are just hating on you. You are just not what they have expected. So stop right now or u’re gonna lose ur fucking self.
Me: lose???? What do they can take from me?? I dont even get it who the fuck i am???? So now who it is gonna lose the its self when i do keep loving them?? (The people)
Myself : u may havent known who u are. But as it going on U WILL AWARE AND READY FOR THE REAL WHO YOU ARE. BECOZ ITS ONLY IN SOCIETY ALL OF THAT CHARACTERS HAVE BEEN MADE BY.
Me: then why dont i just start it now?!?!?! I need who i am.. i need to know that.. many people have got their own about it. But i havent yet.
My self: yes u can. Just go ahead. But remember. When the heart has been given to… its all just need a really strong muscles to pull it back.
Me: thats i am.. im strong…. *one day later*
Oh God.. i should not have knocked its door.. they are so fuckin rich.. (hahahahah it hits the moneys)..
I think i cant make it..
Myself: nah,, u have lost ur spirits. Now watch ur self is gonna be the second after this..
Me: yeah u right. I just cant make it,, i think…
Malem ini bullshit bgt!!
Paket 20rebu mahalnya ludes gak berbekas gara gara delay reply telkomprett sialan!!
Tau kan gw hemat bgt masalah uang. Astaghfirllah ya Allah..